Dog Man and Disappointment

     The series of books I simply call- “Dog Man” should not be for children.  Children have no filter.  The subject matter leads to unacceptable behavior.  Children make the language used in the books their very own.  
     I am dealing with the worse kind of  disappointment right now.  Anyone in the age category of 30 and up- gets it.  Thirty somethings can look back at that time when Mom or Dad had been disappointed.  Usually it is a reminder of a poor choice, not a life decision.  It could be the first time you were late getting home.  It could be a lie you told because you panicked.  It could be you let a friend drive your car and the next thing you know Dad had to help get your car out of a ditch before your Mom found out!
     What about now?  You’re older and you have a family of your own and you still manage to disappoint your family.  A mother’s disappointment is different when it involves her grandchildren.  Don’t go there!  
     First, the wrath of a woman who has had time with her grandchildren taken away can only be dealt out to the other Grandparents.  You know the ones.  The local Grandparents are always the lucky ones.  They retire first.  They have 52 weeks of the year to see the Grandchildren and they rule over their son, the Prince.  Don’t get me started on their daughter, the Princess!
     Eventually the out of town Grandparents are no longer considered for any reason.  The out of town Grandmother wants to blame the in town Grandparents but simply confides to a close friend about the disappointment she feels regarding her daughter.  
     There you have it, folks, a Granny scorned and a Dog Man book which should never be read—quite a combination.
      What would Amelia Bedilia say?

Not The American Way of Death

Side Note:  This is the written account of one man's spoken words by Sherlock Pope, e-published August 12, 2015.  It is not from a textbook about grief and it is certainly not "the American way of death".  It is not one faith or philosophy.  It is real life, lived well.  M. H. Ray
January 23, 2016

Jerks at Work

Today at work my coworker took on the role of telling me what to on a Monday morning.  She is now the office jerk.  She forgot all about teamwork and starting telling me things before I was “on the clock”   then proceeded to tell me what I would be doing and how to do it.  I gave no response.  I soon went to my actual supervisor and said that I prefer to be told of changes by you!  

Seat Mopped

     I promised to make a comment about my lunch seat today.  I sat in front of the mop bucket.  That has to be the better end of a table that we were actually almost asked to leave! While the title of this particular article is Seat Mopped, I must change the subject at this point.


     Workplace etiquette is often not easy to know, understand and follow.  Let's just leave this subject for now.  It is not worth the effort.


      "I'm sorry-- that is my seat."  While we hear these words on situation comedies, it is not the usual comment for daily conversations.  Friends expect to be accepted, welcomed and not told these words!
When a table is reserved a sign should clearly mark it.  If this is not possible, a memo could be sent.

     Everyone wants to feel welcomed.

      I am
Signed Off

See you next time!
M.

After Thanksgiving and Other Debris

After Thanksgiving and Other Debris

While it is not necessary for all of us to eat a wonderful meal of turkey, cranberries, pumpkin pie and green bean casserole (which we didn't have this year), it would be awesome to live in a world where we all felt thankful always.  No, we did not have green bean casserole and we had apple pie, not pumpkin, but our Thanksgiving was special this year.  

We are grateful that God is giving us a grand baby, named Isaac.  He is indeed a miracle.  He will be among us soon and we, especially Nick and Jennifer, are anxiously awaiting his birth.  He is the first child of two first children and our first grand child.  

We are grateful, too, for our entire family.  We are also thankful for the support of our church families because we pray with church families around the world.  There is no doubt that are friends are priceless and our lives are enriched by them, their presence and the fun they bring to our lives.  We are thankful and so blessed.  God is great!

With my thoughts of Isaac and his arrival, I'm mindful of what it will be like to have a grandson.  I think of our own children, Jennifer and Lindsay.  I remember days of just wanting to spend time with the girls, no schedules, nothing we "had" to do, it was really up to them.  Our girls were quite social, so being with their friends was an important pursuit.  Movies, toys and games were other favorite ways to spend time together.  Our girls grew up when board games were still popular along with Disney movies.

As I write, I am doing so after watching a favorite Disney movie, "Mary Poppins," and I immediately thought of how I can't wait to share in the making of a kite with Alan and Isaac.  I have the perfect place to go in the Spring one day to take Isaac to fly a kite!  It seems so simple yet, I imagine it to be a day of many carefree moments spent to enjoy a wonderful gift, Isaac.

Last Lessons on Friendship

Last Lessons on Friendship

     Asking the question: Who will I want to hang out with during my retirement?  I have seen my friends who are retired and I have noticed several things.  I see a sense of freedom and yet they are very energetic, active and yes, a smile on their faces that indicates the joy of no longer working!  So, I would most definitely spend time with my husband.  We could do lunch.  I would spend time with family and my real friends.

     Are there any more rules to follow on friendship?  The people who are your friends may or may not be coworkers.  Most coworkers are not real friends.  Life is too short, they say, to lose sleep over conversations gone wrong.  Anger should be resolved right away.  Sometimes you have to apologize when you have done nothing wrong.  Sometimes being hurt serves as a reminder to remain aloof, keep your mouth shut and guard your heart.  It is almost never a good idea to trust a coworker.  

     The workplace is more competitive now than ever so remember these steps:
1. "Excuse me, I will be right back."
2. Clear your head, take a deep breath.  Return with willing attitude.
3.  Ask any questions you might have about the new assignment (clarification).
4. "Is there anything else I should do?"
5. "How can I help?"

     The reason we have friends in places like our churches, synagogues, country clubs, the gym, etc., is because it is where we build community.  We define our community, our extended family, our true friendships.

     Retirement is not about work-- so our friendships are all about community, family and where we LIKE to be!  In the meanwhile our friends are there for us, we find them in our community, we find them where our heart is.

WELCOME

WELCOME!

Life Lessons on Friendship

Yesterday I learned that there are individuals in my life who need lessons in friendship. They do not not operate on the premise that they can invite their friends to lunch. They find themselves lost in a world where everyone else meets for lunch. They figure that it is not important enough to accept and acknowledge invitations. I find this fascinating. We live in an electronic world, but email is quickly becoming a a low tech form of communication. A company that goes by Parcel Post EVITES (paperless invitations) depends on people who still check email. When an invitation is created and sent out as an EVITE, the company can tell which people actually open the invitation, which ones reply, etc. One would think that a friend who is expecting an invitation via email, would at least open the EVITE. This only means you see the invitation, perhaps read it and acknowledge that you are, indeed, on the guest list! So, individuals in my life who need lessons on friendship, also need etiquette education Even if you do not plan to attend the event, do you not care enough to see the invitation? Friendship is not to be taken for granted. You may spend 7, 8, 9 hours at the workplace with people, but that does not mean they are your friends. The whole "let's do lunch" thing does not apply to people at work who are considered supervisors. Supervisors eat with other bosses or alone. Workers eat together and meet at the sandwich shop or the diner. BFFs: a great term--teens always have BFFs! I married my BFF! So that makes room for one best friend, on whom I can depend. Pretty sweet! Again, who is it that you meet for lunch? You meet with one or two people with whom you enjoy spending time, have a lot in common, etc. You spend time with people who have your back, who care for you, who love you just the way you are. Yes, you are on the guest list. No, you did not open the invitation, but I care enough to include you. Yes, we can "do lunch" one day. No, I do not count on you to have my back. I will do what I have to do when we are at work. I get it. You are all about YOU. Friendship 101: the ideal friend will lay down one's life for you. It is really a gift of sacrifice, love and life. Smile and enjoy your true BFF! Monday Morning Moments

The Heatwave and Money Matters Part One

Saturday, July 7, 2012

     ECONOMIC DECLINE OR HEAT OF THE NIGHT

     Sometimes when people have endured economic shifts such as the one we have experienced since 2008, it is very difficult to rise above it.  It is easy to find someone not connected to the family to blame.  Today, however, that changed.  Today I feel the blame for the economic down-turn in our economy.  I am not sure if it is only our own personal economy or if it merely is the extreme heat in Short Pump, Virginia--indeed Henrico County.  Many have had no electricity, no air conditioning in one of the largest heatwaves this area has ever seen.  The temperatures tomorrow may signal the end of the extremes in temperature as the forecast for Monday included temperatures in the 80's with a week of rainy days!  For the days of temperatures in the 100's, that is literally very cool!  We do not have to go back too far to the days when most homes did not have "central air"  and schools were not air conditioned.  I remember those days.  I also remember my dad having a window unit put into the Master Bedroom, upstairs.  It was the first air conditioner in our home.  So, perhaps, the heat does play a huge role in "being blamed" for an economic crisis.  It was the consistent lack of air conditioning in at least one vehicle that started the discussion.  I get it, it is not all that great to "sweat" all the way to work.  So, suddenly from there the table turns to money.  Yes, it takes money to fix the air conditioning in a vehicle.  The conversation fades as there does not seem to be a solution.  Tomorrow should be the last day of the extremely high temperatures.  The air conditioner in the SUV still won't work, but the rains will make it difficult to keep the windows down.  It is a vicious circle, in this case, a cycle--an economic short fall.  I think it is like the winds of time; one never know which way they will blow!

Never Thought It Would Ever Happen

"I didn't see that coming," is a line from a script spoken by Mark Harmon in his role as a NCIS agent on the popular television drama, "NCIS". It causes me to be mindful of how we are not trained to always expect the unexpected. The tragic loss of 6 Americans in Afghanistan recently struck me in the heart when I first found out from our daughter who called to share with me the news that her gym teacher was shot and killed there. Lindsay's elementary gym teacher was Robert Marchanti. We called him "Mr. Marchanti" because he was our daughter's teacher at Victory Villa Elementary School, where I often worked and called him friend, colleague. He had a commitment. His family shared that commitment to serve, to provide and care for those in need of a better life, safe and free. Freedom and security are so very precious to everyone and still worth standing up for.
A friend at church recently reminded me of the need that we all have for support. Her words when expanded could be simply the message that those who provide for others are just as much in need of support, only a different kind. In education the focus is on the child, the student, the one who at all levels, needs support.
Mr. Marchanti was a gym teacher, an inspiration and he saw each student as a star in training. He let each student know that he or she had the talents to succeed. He inspired many to keep on going. He was the one who encouraged Lindsay to play soccer.
"I didn't see that coming". By the time you think the words you may not have the chance to say them. Let freedom ring!
Thanks, Mr. Marchanti. Freedom rings for you!

Beatitudes

Today is June 25, 2009. Earlier today we learned of Farrah Fawcett's death. Most recently the news is that Michael Jackson also has passed away. With these two sad announcements I would like to take a look at life by asking you a question. How do you want to be remembered?
Life is usually described with the word "precious." It is a simple description, child-like and yet it is what we say. We also say someone is full of life. We overuse the statement: "Life is too short."
During the course of the next days we will be reminded of Farrah Fawcett's life and the brave battle she fought before her death. We'll remember Charlie's Angels. Also, we'll hear songs such as "I'll Be There" and "Beat It" as we remember Michael Jackson.
Matthew records in chapter five the words of Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount. We refer to the Beatitudes as the lifestyle prescribed by Jesus who is the Way, the Truth and the Life. The other day I was in a Bible study where a portion of the words contributed to James reflect the Beatitudes.
James ends chapter 3 with these words:
"But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, accommodating, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial, and not hypocritical. And the fruit that consists of righteousness is planted in peace among those who make peace."
(James 3:17 and 18, The NET Bible).
I encourage my Bible study leader to write a book that reflects our study. If he would write a book we could all understand that tells of the meaning in James it would be so helpful. I have always said that if I could point anyone to one book from the Bible I would recommend the Gospel of John. It is hard for me to leave out James. I know that a basic understanding would come from John, but James gives us a real challenge as well as a true guide for life.
Look for more insights from the question: How do you want to be remembered? (See my next post).

Foods for Life

I created a foods for life list that includes these top seven:
1. steamed broccoli
2. spinach
3. chicken
4. salmon
5. tuna
6. eggs
7. yogurt
I then continued the list with these categories: beverages, fruits, other and juices. Now I have the challenge of only eating foods from the list with notes at the bottom of the page. Every good list always includes a few notes. To learn the details of this Food for Life Plan, be sure to make a comment!
I find that the foods I eat and the type of lifestyle I follow are quite important. My lifestyle usually includes my "rush" and therefore makes good eating habits very difficult to maintain.
I rush to work and almost everywhere. Allow me to put this on a wider perspective.
As Americans we all are in a big rush. We do not want to wait in lines or traffic. We do not feel the need to plan for anything so we are always operating in the "last minute rush."
Rush is the definition of American lifestyle. It affects our health, our well being and the way we treat others. Today we are engaged in an economic crisis that is lasting too long (since it there was no quick fix) and our overall appearance gives the impression of angry Americans.
So, how do we maintain a healthy, caring lifestyle? We are asked to work longer hours, compete with co-workers and are not being paid any more money. Bosses have become bullies. It does not matter how unfair the supervisor is, as workers we can't say anything. We can only work harder, longer, better or lose our jobs.
One solution is in taking the time in our personal lives to maintain a healthy and fit lifestyle. Eat better foods, plan ahead so we don't have to rush and walk more. Add more steps to our daily routines, add more greens to our meals and drink more water. These three things alone will lower our stress and help us feel good at work when we are putting in a few extra hours.
Our attitudes need to be adjusted so that we care for others as much as we do ourselves. We know how to smile when we feel like crying--that's part of who we are as people. Allow something good to surprise you at work. It is always better to be surprised by something good than to be disappointed when something goes wrong.
Let me know how much more you would like to know about "Foods for Life." Take care and stay strong!

Technology Challenged Persons
I find that women who are jealous, over 60 years of age and challenged by e-mail, enjoy making fun of people on social networks. They are often high school graduates in deadend jobs who can't afford to retire. They hate their jobs. They are overweight and are in poor health. They are in second marriages and are having difficulty keeping up with the rest of us. They make fun of people who keep up with friends on FACEBOOK by laughing at simple status updates. One of these women said that her 30 something son enjoys FACEBOOK but she doesn't keep up with him by using the popular social network. She laughed at status updates such as, "I am walking my dog." She should walk--anywhere!! Of course her loser son has never married, always needs money and often has to borrow a car to get to work two days in a row. What is wrong with this woman and others like her? Most of them have the mistaken view that FACEBOOK is for people who have no boundaries and are mostly conservatives. Nothing could be further from the truth. There is a mixture of political views on social networks. You know this or you would not be on the internet blogging or reading this post. For this individual and for other unfortunate persons who cannot enjoy e-mail or any other type of social networking--I have a few suggestions.
Don't spoil it for us--we are smart; we know technology and we have the right to enjoy it.
Stop making yourselves look like jealous old people.
If you need help--ask us. We are open and we are very helpful.
Don't take out your lack of education and information technology out on us.
Don't get on the FACEBOOK is Bad Band Wagon--it's unbecoming.
Many people have said many things about the negative influences from social networking. It is not all that! We know that prospective employers of new college graduates look at FACEBOOK. We are not all in that category. We are employed and are very careful about our networking.
Don't be the "bad apple." Try taking the high road for a change! That is, if it is not out of your reach!

Welcome

Welcome to The Second Half! Here you'll find the way I see it. I share and express complete ranmblings in an abbreviated world.

April 18, 2009